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It is no mystery
That your lips only speak of fictional stories
You use to compose your identity
Not a word you speak has any resemblance with truth
For you are made of a thick façade of lies
Whether it be big or small, you care not
As long as there is no glimpse of honesty
Underlying in the words you speak
For the revelation of truth is what you fear most

I know that those lies masquerade
An overt denial of unpleasant realities
I know that deep down you are a tormented soul
That lies provide you with relief
A relief you long for
I know that you are a stranger in your own body
But you have lost all credibility now
Your lies are inconsistent
You are no longer a father
But a manipulative man
That only breeds chaos in our family

Your deception is no longer welcome
You, Dad, are no longer welcome in my life
Now it is my time to neglect you
The way you neglected me
For the way you abused my mother
For the emptiness you have left in my heart
As I grew up without a father
For all the promises you have broken deliberately
But even more so, for making promises
That you had no intention on keeping

Yes, I know that you use lies
To cover up the dirt of your insecurities
And I know that when you left me
You knew you left a big part of you
In the wilderness to grow up
Without fifty percent of the guidance I needed
But my mother and I are better off without you
Because you are too stubborn to admit the guilt
You feel in a small space in your heart
You are too arrogant to admit your faults
And you have too much pride
To apologise
And even if you did
It would be a lie
Because that has become your nature

You are the oxygen that abandoned my lungs
You are the blood that escaped my heart
And every time I pass my reflection in the mirror
I see you
The ugliness of you
That I inherited
I have all the physical attributes you have
Our faces are identical
But even worse
I have your mind
Your insecurities
Your stubbornness
Your emotional immaturity
Your weaknesses
I am ugly because of you

But there are things that I am proud of
I have compassion
Sensitivity
The ability to respect
The ability to love
None of which you have
But all of which my mother has taught me
The beautiful woman you married
The woman you scarred
And yes the woman that survived
All of your abuse and emotional torture
The woman that has taught me the meaning of inner strength
The woman you imprisoned for years
Who finally escaped
From the bars of your lies
She is my inspiration
My idol
My mother

And most importantly
I am proud
That I speak the truth
And if I do not speak the truth
Then I refuse to speak at all
A quality you will never have
I am better than you, Dad
And I cannot forgive you
Because that would be betraying
The woman that raised me
The woman that loved me
The woman that gave me all that you didn’t

So please,
Do not try to look for me
I will never show my face to you again
Ever

You're a pathological liar.
Terrible poem yet again. But I needed to let this out. This is dedicated to the filth of a father I have.



:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
©All rights reserved to me.
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:iconjocelyner:
JocelyneR Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
It is so true, I know one very well!

Beautifully written! :heart:
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:iconsesam-is-open:
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2010
Featured:tighthug:[link]
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:iconzoran3000:
zoran3000 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2010
I'm sorry for you're pain sweetie, I wanna give ya a big bear hug! And I admire you're honesty...and yes it's good to get it out. xxx
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:iconsunburntx:
SunburntX Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2010   General Artist
Gritty honesty. It's not terrible. It's so honest.
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:iconimmuniselectrun:
Immuniselectrun Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2010
My father left us all also :S :hug:
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:iconnipntuck3:
Nipntuck3 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2010
Your a great girl, and it bought tears too my eyes, as I see what you feel from my own bringing up , and then Marred a man who did the same too me and our younger daughter , I hate he had for me the thread of taking me out of this world , the sexual abuse , and verbal abuse , for 28 years I lived that way, it didn't matter what happen to me, but what he did too our children have rip our children apart , he has not talk too them in nine years, My daughter is a great daughter and over came his absent, I'm the LUCK EST Mother in the world, because I HAVE my children and the love and support from each of them , and I thank GOD every day that I know longer live with his fears. My daughter is a beautiful young lady with a great head on her shoulders ,, just like you , and after years go by , she no longer his him in her mind .Thank you for sharing the hard life you lived, but by talking and writing your free your mind from the pain you feel. If there's anything I can say or do please let me know , I've been there....I'm so glad its come out in your writing ,and that you help any people that has buried it for years I thank you..
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010
Wow. I am so very sorry about your and your children's difficult experiences. I can certainly understand the pain. I feel very honoured that you shared this personal story. I really appreciate it. I can tell by your comment, that you and your children have come out the other end much stronger, which gives me hope that I will too so thank you once again for commenting on this poem. I feel grateful that someone can understand what I'm speaking about. Bless you and your family for what you've been through. :hug:
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:iconjarry85:
jarry85 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2009
I read this initially thinking it was to your lover and every word, sentence, line felt like you were talking to me.
It felt like it was directed towards something that was deep seated in me like a failed relationship I once had. Felt almost too personal, like a look into the mirror. Now I lie here and there but this felt like self reflection from another person's point of view. Thank you for those few life changing seconds.

Then I read it was about your father, then I got mad. Because then like all fathers, they are a part of us and we a part of them, hence I wonder f this poem would have made him stay with my mom. It is weird how people a thousand miles away can write things that your mouth, your heart and soul have failed to say for years. Write in a perspective so deep, so detailed, so well crafted as if they were writing for your own soul. That to me is a mark of a great writer.

And if not one comment were to be written about this poem, not one favorite tag or even view, I would still say it is a masterpiece. Because this is you, bare and naked, out fr the world to see and this my friend is special.

Thank you and never stop writing, not for a single insult not for a single praise, write for you.
Reply
:icondysfunktionall:
dysfunktionall Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2009
This is absolutely amazing. I love how you express yourself. I'm a real fan of yours.
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:iconaurorae-eagle:
Aurorae-Eagle Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2009   Writer
I know what you mean, I despise my parents because I am their child, and I'm afraid I'll make their mistakes.

I'm scared I'll abandon any future children I have like my mother did to me.

I'm worried that I'll be racist and sexist like my father, instead of the open minded person I hope I am.

I'm frightened that I'll start only wanting sex from relationships, instead of love, and that I am lying about wanting love... So frightened, the first time I touched my ex intimately, I went into the next room and cried.
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2009
I admit that I do not know you well enough. But if you have those doubts about yourself of becoming or being what your parents are, then you are not like them. People like that, don't really have doubts. They may, but not enough to worry like you have. Not enough to care to cry or not want to be like that. And in a way, at least you learned what you should NOT be like. That's what I learned from my dad, although I think that some things are just plain genetic and I can't exactly run away from certain characteristics, but I try and I'm growing as a person.

Also everyone wants sex from a relationship, but it has to be accompanied by love for it to be amazing. Soulless sex is bad. Just remember that when you doubt yourself. I don't think you're the description you gave of your parents. I may be a stranger, but your poetry speaks a lot about you and from that I wouldn't consider you bad person, I'd consider you a beautiful person. :hug:
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:iconaurorae-eagle:
Aurorae-Eagle Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2009   Writer
Awww, thanks :)

My current girlfriend gets hurt more by the fact that I beat myself up everytime I lust for her then the fact that I lust for her in general, which she understands. My own paranoia does me more harm then the things I'm paranoid about.

I love her to bits though, I just wanna be the best I can be for her, and that requires being the opposite to the xenophobic souless sex maniac my genes tell me to be.
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:icondrifting-damage:
Drifting-Damage Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009  Student
I would love for your father to read this!!

And perhaps your mother. :)
Reply
:iconsafetyxpinnedxheart:
safetyXpinnedXheart Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
There's always going to be people who will insult things that are actually really good.

This is really good, and you're a really good writer :)
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:iconbassovercast:
BassOvercast Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2009
Your father = my mother. They should get married.
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:iconinnocently-corrupted:
Innocently-Corrupted Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2009  Student Digital Artist
I don't really get into the Literature part of dA.. But you've pulled me in.. This is not a terrible poem.. It's great.
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:iconanaviktoria:
AnaViktoria Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2009
You have excellent talent for touching emotions in your readers.
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:icontheargentumproject:
TheArgentumProject Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2009
seems we have more than just poetry in common, wonderful work tas.
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:iconmelanieziggel:
melanieziggel Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2009
very very well. so honestly..
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:iconlost-diamond:
lost-diamond Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2009
"know that you are a stranger in your own body" that quote is so strong. i think it can relate to many people, yet we can;t admit it. the way you construct your poems are so strong and heart-felt
its brave to open up and become so vulnerable...thats probably why people tyr and break you down..they're seriously juts jealous.
keep it up...be strong
you are the only person that bring yourself down..thats what i've learned after going through my own experiences :heart:
Reply
:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2009
Thank you so much hun. I really appreciate it your support. xxx
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:iconlost-diamond:
lost-diamond Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2009
aww no probs darling :)
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:iconmichaelkry:
michaelkry Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009   Writer
Really awesome!
I am a really infamous author,i'd love me some more infamous literature like this any day!
Reply
:iconwee-ell:
Wee-ell Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
Even without effort you're poems are fantastic. :) They are so full of emotion that i really have to pull myself together after reading it. I've noticed that a small part of me is carrying your poems with me the whole day, and when i have a moment i sometimes think about them.
Thank you for sharing your life with us. It really touches my soul.
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:icondrifting-damage:
Drifting-Damage Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009  Student
"I've noticed that a small part of me is carrying your poems with me the whole day, and when i have a moment i sometimes think about them. " That's the exact same for me. She really is an amazing writer.
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:iconwee-ell:
Wee-ell Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2009
She's very talented. :nod:
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. I'm amazed that you can understand the emotions I portray in this poems!! And it means a lot to me for someone to appreciate my expressions about my personal life!! So thank you once again. xxx
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:iconwee-ell:
Wee-ell Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
You should not be amazed. It is your skill/gift that does that.
Reply
:iconshytweedabone:
ShyTweedaBone Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Professional General Artist
Hey I like this. I think it is important to vent. Well done.......
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:icondark-abyss666:
Dark-Abyss666 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
no its not a terrible poem.
Its honest.
it does touch a chord.
thank you for sharing another beautiful work. i love this one.
Reply
:icondark-abyss666:
Dark-Abyss666 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
no its not a terrible poem.
Its honest.
it does touch a chord.
thank you for sharing another beautiful work. i love this one.
Reply
:icondark-abyss666:
Dark-Abyss666 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
no its not a terrible poem.
Its honest.
it does touch a chord.
thank you for sharing another beautiful work. i love this one.
Reply
:iconsoulseekerk9:
SoulseekerK9 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
I hope for your sake that you feel much better now after getting this out in the open as it is much better to do than hold it inside to slowly kill you.
Great work once again.
xoxoxo
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:iconicwells:
icwells Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
I need to give you a hug. Seriously, that sucks. I don't know if I could have dealt with a parent like that.
Reply
:iconjamie017:
jamie017 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
p.s. sorry for the misspelling of "you" I think I need an editor,can you help...lol

jamie
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:iconjamie017:
jamie017 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Some things need to be said,or they'll eat you up from the inside out.It took courage,and your talent for writing, to express what yo felt you had to so eloquently...Congratulations for fighting the demons and winning !

your friend
jamie
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Thank you so much Jamie. Your support means a lot to me!! xxx
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:iconjamie017:
jamie017 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
with pleasure...
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
I don't think this is terrible at all, I think it is excellent. Your writing is typically at a high level, and I always enjoy reading it.
Reply
:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Thank you so much. Your support means a lot to me!! xxx
Reply
:icon0demonic-angel0:
0Demonic-Angel0 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I love your literature. It's moving, beautiful, strong, and personal. I kinda look up to you in the way you can get these things out in the open and post in on dA.

Well done! :)
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. xxx
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:icon0demonic-angel0:
0Demonic-Angel0 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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:iconvma3:
VMa3 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Student General Artist
Kinda reminds me a of my own dad! :/

He's a great guy and all, but can't never keep his promises. Never.
This summer I went to see him, after almost 7 years, it was great and all but hten... He promised me to call and send some goodies after I'm back home with my mom. Still haven't heard of him in 2 months. So yeah, he just went back to his usual self. Never able to keep his promises. Makes me feel like he's lying to me somehow...

And yet, I can't be mad at him. Mostly because I don't care anymore... And why should I? He never was there for me.He's been like that since I'm a kid, so yeah, I kinda gave up on him... The only reason why I keep in touch with him his beacause og my family on his side, my uncles and aunt are awesome! So are my cousins and gandparents! *I have 13 uncles and aunt... It's a lot of people! ^^ *

My mom is also my inspiration, she's a great woman and I'll always look up to her. She's my inspiration. :heart: She stood up for herself and threw him out of the house when she learned that my father used drugs when I was still a baby. My grandfather on my dad side told her the truth when he learned that, he knew what his son did was wrong and didn't wanted my mother and me to be hurt. I will always admire him too for that.

This is a great piece, not terrible at all. I think that everyone can relate to it in thier own way! Keep it, you do a great work!:heart:
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Wow I am so sorry that your dad can't keep his promises and wasn't there for you!! But I am so glad that you can relate to this piece!! And good on your mum!! She did the right thing!! And good on you for surviving that kind of disappointment!! Much respect to you and your mum!! You're strong people, which I admire!! And thank you so much for appreciating this piece!! I am grateful for your support! xxx
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:iconcraigp-photography:
craigp-photography Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
I can't understand when you say something you write is terrible, it comes straight from your heart, contains who you are, your thoughts, your feelings, it's what got me hooked into reading your stuff. Who gives a flying rats ass if it fits into so called perfect structure, if it did it wouldn't be what makes your stuff so good, so powerful to read. Don't let the wankers that attack your character get you down, they do that out of jealousy of what you are capable of with your writing.Just write for yourself, it's how I look at my photography now, I haven't got as good as I want to but then I take photos for myself not to try please everyone else.
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:icontas-poetry:
tas-poetry Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
Thank you so very much Craig. You have always been so supportive of me and I really appreciate that!! And you are absolutely right. I should only write for myself, not others. Thank you for knocking some sense into me!! I really needed it!! xxx
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:iconcraigp-photography:
craigp-photography Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009
you're welcome
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:iconmarie-from-the-dust:
Marie-from-the-dust Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Student Writer
I like this a lot, it's honest and intense. It's very relateable too.
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:iconwilliamfdevault:
williamfdevault Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2009  Professional Writer
it takes time for the craft and the inspiration to merge, don;t be so hard on yourself if everything that issues forth is not a sonnet! Well expressed, nonetheless.
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