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July 18, 2010
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(This poem is dedicated to all those who are or have been in abusive relationships. My heart goes out to all of you beautiful people.)

I.

I've been nothing
But a slave to your debauched desires
Your sole possession, your marionette
Benumbed by the deceit,
The manipulation veiled
Beneath your soft artist's touch...

And a touch that endeavours to sabotage
The most beautiful of all silhouettes
Is the touch of the irresistible...
The undeniable...

Just like you...

For I was left powerless, forlorn of all hope,
As your hands designed my fate,
With one subtle caress at a time...
With one stage of seduction at a time...
--

II.

Those gifted hands
Carved me so delicately
Into the figurine of a burlesque doll
Faceless, stripped of an identity
Dehumanised, to gratify your intentions.

My wooden frame,
Varnished by your blood,
The paint of passion, the lacquer of love,
Coated upon my skin as a bittersweet glaze...

Every brittle limb,
Webbed with strings
Bound tightly by intricate knots
To the tips of your fingers...
Leaving me with no scope to let you go...

So with my dangling body obeying every jerk, pull and tug
I danced at your humble service...
Spinning around in pirouettes
Circling your fingers with lithe ballerina twirls
Whirling with servitude as your seething heart guided me...

And with every tug, I defied with desperation
Heaving away from your direction
Eager to unhitch the ties that bind us
But no strength, did I have
To sever the leash of love
That adheres me to you...
No courage did I have
To repel against your will
And withdraw from the abuse...
--

III.

My love for you,
Undermined every eye of disapproval
With the powers of faith,
But never able to tame  
The demon of a heart
Swathed inside of your chest.

For you are
And always have been
Unchangeable...

A mere object I was to you...
And nothing more...
Just a lifeless figure,
Deprived of human senses,
Emotions,
Worth.

But nonetheless,
I danced just for you,
Along a razor's edge
The stage that impaled my feet
With every leap of faith I took
As your lover, as your marionette...

Marks of mutilation,
Scars of exploitation,
Stayed hidden behind the blinding spotlight
My soundless screams, fell upon deaf ears
The signals of despair, unseen by the crowd...

A blind audience, they were
Unable to detect the true character
Concealed behind the covert mask
You fabricated with textured lies
And done so with incontestable skill...

Neither the role you played,
Nor the role you'd forced me to play
Was seen as a scripted act...
The spectators, blissfully unaware
That they were being used as the props
To the scenes of your theatrical performance.
--

IV.

And so for years,
I'd been dreaming of the day
That my love for you
Will no longer constrain me...
The moment I will no longer be the broken toy
Locked in the chamber of your palm...
The moment I will break free
From the burdens of love's fallacy,
And dance only the dance of liberty...
The moment that I at last, will be free to choose...
Petal by petal, with nature's blessing
My own fate.

And although I see my worthlessness reflect from your eyes...
The pain only ever subsides
When you whisper the lie
"I still love you...my precious doll"

---------
[Only then does the agony vanish in a heartbeat...

That is,
Until the next time...
You do it all over again.

And one day, your lies will shine upon the sins you buried with me in my grave.]
This poem is based on my personal experience. I hope that someone can relate to my words, my feelings.

A special dedication to :iconevilpixie71: who has understood this particular experience more than anyone else. Love you Julie.

---

Everyday, I feel unbearable pain. It's as if everything happened just yesterday. Some days I can push through the agony, but most days I feel very lost and lonely, even though I have people around me who love me.

I know that there are wonderful friends who I can speak to about it explicitly. But I'm ashamed of how deeply the past still affects me. And when I try to speak to someone, they don't really give me the chance. So the only thing that is willing to listen to me is really just my pen and paper...

In all honesty, only you beautiful people know all my secrets...my emotions...my life...my heart...And although I'm not a poet who fusses over technique, I do write from a very special place in my heart and I thank all of my friends here who appreciate it anyway. I love you all, you're wonderful in every way.

---
:iconstop1plz::iconstop2plz::iconstop3plz::iconstop4plz:
All rights reserved. The work contained in my gallery is copyrighted © Tasnuva B. My work may not be reproduced, copied, edited, published, transmitted or uploaded in any way and does not belong in the public domain.
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:iconlonelynightrain:
lonelynightrain Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing...
Reply
:iconsilvereyedfreak01:
Silvereyedfreak01 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012
I been abused in many ways from my family and this made me break down crying. I might change my name to marionette what do u think?
Reply
:iconmotherearth01:
motherearth01 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Excellent writing.
Reply
:iconsavedbylight07:
Savedbylight07 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010
I camn really relate to this! Outstanding work!!
Reply
:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010  Professional Writer
I can't stop crying. I felt like I was reading my life up there; for I was abused for a very long time, mentally and physically. People tell me to get over it; to get past it because I am making myself stay a victim, but I can't stop the memories, or the nightmares.
I do understand how you can feel lonely or alone; even though you have many around you that love you.
You are a brave woman.
You were actually able to write and post about your experience. I wrote about, but still haven't submitted it yet. I applaud your courage. :heart:
Reply
:iconlakely714:
lakely714 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
I have never listened to such expressive and powerful words. It was a real pleasure listening to these words flowing. This really comes from heart and all people can see it. I can't really form words right now because I am moved and touched...
by your artwork.
It really is no good feeling to be in such a relationship. I had to help a good friend out of it and she now is in a hospital.
Because she was in such a bad state of mind.
This artwork should appear on all of the people's PCs... all of the people that abuse someone and all the others that don't know about what some people had to go through.

Greetings
Reply
:iconshadowlight-oak:
shadowlight-oak Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Featured - [link]
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
[link] Featured for favs!
Reply
:icona-fragile-smile:
A-Fragile-Smile Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Gently violent, and hiddenly explicit. I understand the feeling, the repulsively inviting pain of the demented love that people give you and that you give to people. I love this painfully beautiful poem.
Reply
:iconladykylin:
LadyKylin Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
That's beautiful, painful but beautiful. I cannot say I can share your pain as I've been fortunate enough to not have to go through that trauma. But this, this makes me understand it to some extent. And what I do understand make me wish I could find who ever did this and give them a very blunt fistful of my mind, then do what I always do when words aren’t enough. Hug.

I pray that you gain the strength to get through this, and that you find a love that is beautiful and up building, as it was meant to be.
Reply
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