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(This poem is dedicated to all those who are or have been in abusive relationships. My heart goes out to all of you beautiful people.)


I've been nothing
But a slave to your debauched desires
Your sole possession, your marionette
Benumbed by the deceit,
The manipulation veiled
Beneath your soft artist's touch...

And a touch that endeavours to sabotage
The most beautiful of all silhouettes
Is the touch of the irresistible...
The undeniable...

Just like you...

For I was left powerless, forlorn of all hope,
As your hands designed my fate,
With one subtle caress at a time...
With one stage of seduction at a time...


Those gifted hands
Carved me so delicately
Into the figurine of a burlesque doll
Faceless, stripped of an identity
Dehumanised, to gratify your intentions.

My wooden frame,
Varnished by your blood,
The paint of passion, the lacquer of love,
Coated upon my skin as a bittersweet glaze...

Every brittle limb,
Webbed with strings
Bound tightly by intricate knots
To the tips of your fingers...
Leaving me with no scope to let you go...

So with my dangling body obeying every jerk, pull and tug
I danced at your humble service...
Spinning around in pirouettes
Circling your fingers with lithe ballerina twirls
Whirling with servitude as your seething heart guided me...

And with every tug, I defied with desperation
Heaving away from your direction
Eager to unhitch the ties that bind us
But no strength, did I have
To sever the leash of love
That adheres me to you...
No courage did I have
To repel against your will
And withdraw from the abuse...


My love for you,
Undermined every eye of disapproval
With the powers of faith,
But never able to tame  
The demon of a heart
Swathed inside of your chest.

For you are
And always have been

A mere object I was to you...
And nothing more...
Just a lifeless figure,
Deprived of human senses,

But nonetheless,
I danced just for you,
Along a razor's edge
The stage that impaled my feet
With every leap of faith I took
As your lover, as your marionette...

Marks of mutilation,
Scars of exploitation,
Stayed hidden behind the blinding spotlight
My soundless screams, fell upon deaf ears
The signals of despair, unseen by the crowd...

A blind audience, they were
Unable to detect the true character
Concealed behind the covert mask
You fabricated with textured lies
And done so with incontestable skill...

Neither the role you played,
Nor the role you'd forced me to play
Was seen as a scripted act...
The spectators, blissfully unaware
That they were being used as the props
To the scenes of your theatrical performance.


And so for years,
I'd been dreaming of the day
That my love for you
Will no longer constrain me...
The moment I will no longer be the broken toy
Locked in the chamber of your palm...
The moment I will break free
From the burdens of love's fallacy,
And dance only the dance of liberty...
The moment that I at last, will be free to choose...
Petal by petal, with nature's blessing
My own fate.

And although I see my worthlessness reflect from your eyes...
The pain only ever subsides
When you whisper the lie
"I still love precious doll"

[Only then does the agony vanish in a heartbeat...

That is,
Until the next time...
You do it all over again.

And one day, your lies will shine upon the sins you buried with me in my grave.]
This poem is based on my personal experience. I hope that someone can relate to my words, my feelings.

A special dedication to :iconevilpixie71: who has understood this particular experience more than anyone else. Love you Julie.


Everyday, I feel unbearable pain. It's as if everything happened just yesterday. Some days I can push through the agony, but most days I feel very lost and lonely, even though I have people around me who love me.

I know that there are wonderful friends who I can speak to about it explicitly. But I'm ashamed of how deeply the past still affects me. And when I try to speak to someone, they don't really give me the chance. So the only thing that is willing to listen to me is really just my pen and paper...

In all honesty, only you beautiful people know all my heart...And although I'm not a poet who fusses over technique, I do write from a very special place in my heart and I thank all of my friends here who appreciate it anyway. I love you all, you're wonderful in every way.

All rights reserved. The work contained in my gallery is copyrighted © Tasnuva B. My work may not be reproduced, copied, edited, published, transmitted or uploaded in any way and does not belong in the public domain.
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lonelynightrain Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Silvereyedfreak01 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012
I been abused in many ways from my family and this made me break down crying. I might change my name to marionette what do u think?
motherearth01 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Excellent writing.
Savedbylight07 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010
I camn really relate to this! Outstanding work!!
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010  Professional Writer
I can't stop crying. I felt like I was reading my life up there; for I was abused for a very long time, mentally and physically. People tell me to get over it; to get past it because I am making myself stay a victim, but I can't stop the memories, or the nightmares.
I do understand how you can feel lonely or alone; even though you have many around you that love you.
You are a brave woman.
You were actually able to write and post about your experience. I wrote about, but still haven't submitted it yet. I applaud your courage. :heart:
lakely714 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
I have never listened to such expressive and powerful words. It was a real pleasure listening to these words flowing. This really comes from heart and all people can see it. I can't really form words right now because I am moved and touched...
by your artwork.
It really is no good feeling to be in such a relationship. I had to help a good friend out of it and she now is in a hospital.
Because she was in such a bad state of mind.
This artwork should appear on all of the people's PCs... all of the people that abuse someone and all the others that don't know about what some people had to go through.

shadowlight-oak Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Featured - [link]
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
[link] Featured for favs!
A-Fragile-Smile Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Gently violent, and hiddenly explicit. I understand the feeling, the repulsively inviting pain of the demented love that people give you and that you give to people. I love this painfully beautiful poem.
LadyKylin Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
That's beautiful, painful but beautiful. I cannot say I can share your pain as I've been fortunate enough to not have to go through that trauma. But this, this makes me understand it to some extent. And what I do understand make me wish I could find who ever did this and give them a very blunt fistful of my mind, then do what I always do when words aren’t enough. Hug.

I pray that you gain the strength to get through this, and that you find a love that is beautiful and up building, as it was meant to be.
brutal-bianca Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010
shockingly beautiful, the words are laced with this kind of melancholy nostalgia, i guess it has to do with my parent's relationship that makes me feel this.

i love the way you write, it encourages me to write more and improve my vocabulary.

please keep on writing<3
micasso19 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
This is amazing. I admire that you can talk about your experiences and feel for others. I was in an abusive relationship when I was too young to really understand what was going on. I was taken advantage of and hit. I love to know that I'm not alone.
onkwehonwe-okwaho Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Very moving, to say the least. You can really feel the emotion you must have poured into this, and it's beautiful, if not upsetting. The best of luck to you and your life.
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is gorgeous writing. You know, it reminds me of a dance that would be performed on "So You Think You Can Dance" or something - gorgeously choreographed, it would be stunning - your words invoke that kind of image to me, and it's breathtakingly beautiful and heartbreaking. Stunning writing!
DaggerEyes Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2010
:cling: When I saw that you'd written something, I was so eager to read it, I was excited. And, as always, your words are never meaningless. I always think that it must take you forever to write these things, there is always so much emotion, and heart put into them. I am touched. I love your writing. I relate to it, and I know that I will never be alone, and if it didn't destroy me I would be there for everyone else who has suffered at the hands of evil.

Sorry for the rant. :heart: it was simply beautiful, and tragic to read. Thank you, Tas.
tranquil-acoustics Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010
I know how you feel, Tas. I really do. This is beautifully written.
It hurts to know someone as beautiful as you, can be crushed by the same force that crushes me. I hope that you will be built back up again soon.
motherearth01 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Very well written. That is exactly how evil they are.It's always about them and their pain and never about what they put you through and the pain they inflict on you. Oh,yes over the years you push it to the back of your mind because you always believe tomorrow will be better but then the abuse gets worse and you no longer have the power or the urge to fight, so you except who you are what you have become because in some cases there is no escape or anyone to turn to and all you can rely on is yourself to stay strong and except that it is the way of life in some cases. You have a good day.
Rowanelle Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You achieved something that doesn't happen very often (when I read something, I mean) - you made me cry. I would like to hug you, comfort you... I hope it is all better these days.
LandOriginaL Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I always thought I had a grip on what you were going thru. But now, I understand. Totally. I'm here if you need anything.... everytime you write, You amaze me.

BenChislett Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2010
Your writing is very powerful.
DistressedDove Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2010
Brilliant piece, love it. Favourited.
just-wanna-harley Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
well i dont know what to say! *faving!*
pthiongo Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
For you, today shed a tear and for all the beautifull people
zoran3000 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010
very heart felt words Tiger...wish there was something I could do to help...:heart:
RezzanATAKOL Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010
I tried to translate it but thsi sh.. translator not good.
I didnt get it dear but I read ur text, i guess it is much emotional poem.
Not only u, as many people i m also feeling mostly lonely.
Trying to be strong always and it makes me tired of life.
Here a big:hug: for u
Thank u for see us worthy to share ur feelings:))
Squirrelflight-77 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010
Beautiful! I love it! :)
andalite-friends Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Very moving Tas.. I could say I almost felt what is to be in such pain while reading it. I hope you never have to face such a situation again.
craigp-photography Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010
Once again Tas, your words have reached deep inside this readers heart.
Apheline Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Very powerful words and imagery... It made me cry :hug: Stay strong!
RCPage Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
prosexionist Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
i was recently in such a friend relationships whit a female, and deep in my heart i still like her, and it burns :'(
so i really like and understand this beautiful poem
Horris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
This was beautiful.

"But nonetheless,
I danced just for you,
Along a razor's edge"

My favourite part. The imagery is outstanding.

My heart goes out to you. I know that one day you will gather up all the strength that's building in you each day and push past the pain.

You have a way of expressing your self and writing such beautiful things I envy.
LadyMontros Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
I haven't been in an abusive relationship to that depth... but my heart hurts in rhythm with those who do know this beyond completeness.

I was lucky to get out... lucky they hadn't been to the extreme as what others I know have gone through.

However, I understand this heartache, the torment... so much that it's engraved within my soul.
sesam-is-open Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
I think that's happend when love is in front of everything:(
spenelo Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Professional General Artist
This is so deep.
In-the-Dark11 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
So sad....but beautifully written. No words can describe things of this magnitude. <3
Leuthy29 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
Beautiful. I can say I've not been in an abusive relationship, but your writing has made me all the more grateful and helped me realize how blessed I am. For that I say thank you. :hug:
eagle1jensen Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
beautefull. your writeing is much like that of ellan hopkins.
Headphones-Attached Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Student Writer
Your poem is so beautiful and... moving in such ways that it makes the audience feel as you do.
I've also been in somewhat of the same situation and totally understood where you were coming from with this piece. It speaks of many things, emotions, time and places that anyone in the same situation or place would have to understand and relate to this.
kewlgirl94 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
i can relate to this in a way...i wasn't ever abused in a relationship but i was abused by my sister all the time when i was younger...but i really do like this and i really hope there will be a time in this world when no one gets abused by any one!!!
AdriLucieno Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Student General Artist
I can relate to it. Well, the abuse. But, it wasn't in a relationship, I was
abused as a child for long time by my father. This poem is very beautiful.
Your poetry in my opinion is unparralled.
evilpixie71 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
:happycry: You are one of the most beautiful, strong, caring, loving and intelligent women I know, sweetie. I know we do not always feel that way but sometimes it shines through. Thank you so much for this dedication, for your understanding and for listening to me vent...most of all for being there for me as a friend, confidante and fellow Survivor. Your work is always beautiful but this one has really touched my heart and mind. Hang on to all that you have, and your friends and family who offer their hand to help guide you. It's all we've got...for now. I love you too sweetheart! :rose: :tighthug: :heart:
Golden-Leaves Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I cannot personally relate with you, for which I hope you'll forgive me. Howevever, I did love your poem. You have a very powerful, perceptive way of expressing yourself. Nicely done :)
photorip Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
I do not think I really understood why a person can not leave an abusive relationship until I read this. You have expressed it in a way that no tv documentation on this subject have used. Excellent.

"The moment I will break free
From the burdens of love's fallacy,
And dance only the dance of liberty...
The moment that I at last, will be free to choose..."
evilpixie71 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
There are many, many reasons why people find it near impossible to leave abusive relationships.

I believe, in this writing, my dear friend is referring specifically to Narcissistic Abuse. The abuse that continues even after the "relationship" has ended. Trying to heal and recover from and accept that the person you fell in love with never truly existed. It was a mask, a facade, that grabbed your heart...and then tore it all to shreds and continues to do so for their own pleasure even after they have devalued and discarded you.
Nipntuck3 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
thank you for that poem, I just lost a friend to Murder , Her husband , shot her 3 time in the head and then shot him self, and there son , who was 20 years old came home , to only find his parent both dead. I was in abuses relation for 28 years too a man who called him self my HUSBAND , what kinda man was he to ME......I know its hard to get out yous see left me... that's how I got FREE.........DON"T let him did that to you.......... PLEASE READ THIS POEM , PLEASE LISTEN TOO YOUR HEART, PLEASE GET OUT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.. you need to believe in your self , because you are LOVED......Too the writer...... I know your pain, and I know what your heart feels I,m there with you , the best thing for you is too WRITE what you feel , it helps...... Thank you again Barb
666Bruno Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
(: I understand, very good words!
williamfdevault Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Professional Writer
Extraordinary. Honest, pure and true. I bow to the poet.
Drifting-Damage Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Student
Tas, I love reading your work. It really shows that you write from the heart.

And despite not being fussed about technique you do it very well anyway. :P How each section has it's own theme but you use key words to tie them all together. Like the marionette idea.

goldfishes101 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010
i love this. it's so emotional and beautiful, despite being about an ugly thing.
"Those gifted hands
Carved me so delicately"
that part was especially amazing. :heart:
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